Timing

Do you ever feel like you have set your personal timer to run faster than the Holy Spirit? Well I seem to find myself doing just that. On purpose I made myself an hour early for physical therapy just so I would have more time here. Why? I’m not sure about that either. Fear maybe. Where is my trust in the Holy Spirit lately? Are you getting tired of all the questions? I am.

Maybe I just need to be real with myself. Fear and trust are issues. I’m constantly worrying that I am still doing something wrong. It’s not anyone’s fault. There is just so much history to leave behind. Mikey’s death. The divorce. All the abuses to me by others and self-abuse. More things have gone wrong from consequences to my jumping ahead of the Lord than at the hand of some man. 

I am so glad that God has given me so much grace. I can run and still turn around. He’s always there. 

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